Got The Money To Find The Trolls

The following manuscript was discovered by dog walkers deep in the Finnish forest beside a bloodstained photograph of a hamster. No bodies were ever located

Using the Norwegian Epic Troll Hunter as inspiriation myself and a small team made our way to Scandanavia on our own Troll hunt, this time Finland was our destination.

We had looked at our optons all over scandinavia but found that our cameramans connection in Finland afforded us the best opportunity to get up close and personal with our forest dwelling foes. After months of arrangments we found ourselves being greeted outside the Finnish airport by the man who was about to drop a bit of a bombshell, Antti Niemi. (I would like to take the time to point out that this wasn’t the former Finland International Goalkeeper that featured in the Scottish and English Premier leagues, just a man that shared he same name.)

It was on our way back to his house that he dropped the previously pointed out upset. The off road vehicle that was fundamental to our expeditition had suffered a breakdown and was currently waiting to be fixed, waiting because Antti was trying to gather the funds to pay for it. As much as we wished that we could have just given him the money there and then we all found ourselves short of cash due to the financing of the trip. Antti insisted that he had a answer though he then proceeded to fully explain to us how he would get us out of this situation, we would have felt better if it had been explained in English but we made out a few phrases that led us to believe he would be able to get a loan quickly ” Lainaa nopeasti ” the smile on his face and his relaxed state made us all feel a bit more at ease as he carried on while we drifted by infinite forest that would with a bit of luck contain our Trolls.

Pikavippi nopeasti ” was proclaimed loudly as Antti made for the phone. We presumed that we would have to wait for days for this process to be ironed out but unbelievably Antti came back saying we should pack our bags because we would ride at midnight, by this I think he was saying the vehicle would be fixed and we could carry out our investigations that very night.

As we moved deeper into the forest the night grew darker, unbelievably black shadows chased our tail lights and knotted roots reached up to the moon while we neatly picked our way through the never ending maze. We then stopped and went by foot for quite a while and this is how I find myself abandoned and huddled inbetween the fallen branches of a shattered tree. I don’t want to know how the tree was shattered and the fate of my accomplices appears to grow ever more dangerous with each frightening noise that fills the night air. If I make it out of here I can take with me two valuable pieces of knowledge. Do not embark into Troll land vulnerable and Finland is the place to be if you are looking for quick and easy loans that can be processed in under an hour.

I can hear them coming, its close, if anyone finds this tell my hamster I love h……..

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